MrAPO 2
by Rishka Derevko
Summary: I am going to try and make this an annual event. The boys are back and badder than ever. Read and Review.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own Alias. Never have, never will. *sniffle***

**Mr. APO (The boys are back)**

It had been a year since the last time it had happened. The silver crown still sat in the case in his office, an annoying reminder of his daughters' idea of fun. Jack Bristow sat in his office at APO working on finalizing a mission report. He heard the door of his office open and looked up to see Nadia with a somber expression on her face.

"Sweetheart what's wrong?" He said looking up from his work.

"Dad. Can I talk to you for a moment?" Nadia said.

"Sure."

"I'm worried about Sydney. She hasn't been the same since Will died."

"He was her best friend. I would be more worried if she wasn't grieving."  
"It's been nearly a year dad."  
"The heart takes a long time to heal sweetheart. If you love someone deeply it's hard to let them go."

"I understand. I just hate seeing her like this."

"What did you have in mind?"  
"I was hoping we could have another Mr. APO pageant."  
A shadow crossed Jack's face.

"Wait dad. Before you say anything think about it. Sydney wasn't the only one affected by Will's death. Everyone was, he was really important to everyone here. By having another Mr. APO pageant everyone's spirits will be lifted and Will's legacy will continue." Nadia said her voice cracking.

Jack looked up to see Sydney sitting at her desk, her eyes distant and uncaring.

"Ok. Is there anything else you need?"  
"I need you to sign up first since you are director. Same as last year."  
Jack reluctantly signed his name and handed it back to Nadia.

"Thanks dad." Nadia said kissing his cheek.

As Nadia walked out, Irina entered.

"Hi mom." Nadia smiled.

"Hi sweetheart." Irina said confused.

"Jack, what has her so giddy?"

"The Mr. APO pageant has just become an annual event."

"Really. I'm looking forward to it already." Irina said.

Jack stood and pulled her towards him.

"Which part do you like best?"  
"The swimsuit competition." Irina said against his lips.

"Is that so."  
"Mm hm, and there's one special guy I'm anxious to see this year."  
"And who could that be."  
Irina kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Weiss. Nadia said he has been working out."

**Later that day**

An excited Marshall ran up to Jack in the hallway.

"Mr. Bristow is it true." He said out of breath.

"What are you talking about Marshall?" Jack said annoyed.

"That there is going to be another pageant."

"Yes. Marshall."

"Good, good."

"Was there something else you wanted Marshall?"

"No, just wanted to make sure the rumors were true. I think I'm going to throw my hat in the ring this time. So watch out. Not really like watch out like I'm going to throw something or. . ."  
Jack walked away leaving Marshall blubbering.

**Later that night at Jack's home**

Irina had planned the barbeque for weeks now. The announcement of a new Mr. APO pageant only added the excitement buzzing. Jack was at the grill when he heard her slip up behind him. He turned and smiled at his wife.

"You looked thirsty." She said handing him the Heineken she was holding.

"Thanks." He said kissing her lightly.

He looked across the lawn at his party guests.

"Everyone seems to be having a good time." He observed.

"Everyone but Sydney." Irina said pointing out their daughter who was stretched out in the hammock staring off into space.

"Nadia was right. I'm beginning to get worried." Jack said.

"I'm going to try to talk to her."  
"Good luck."

Irina took the plate from Jack and crossed the yard. She took a deep breath and sat down on the edge of the hammock. Sydney slowly turned to face her mother her eyes shining from tears.

"Are you hungry?" Irina asked extending the plate.

"No." Sydney said simply.

"Sydney. . ."

"Mom can't talk about it."

"Sydney please. I just want to see you happy again, and talking helps."

"Mom please." Sydney said her voice cracking.

Irina took her hands in hers and kissed her forehead.

"Sydney, I love you, your father, your sister, your friends, all of us love you dearly and we are getting worried."

"You have nothing to worry about."

"Ok sweetheart." Irina looked toward the party. It was at that moment that she noticed Sark entering the backyard.

"Since you don't want to talk to me, I'll send over someone else. I know. I'll send over Julian." Irina said walking over to him.

Sydney sighed. She had been avoiding Julian ever since he had joined APO two weeks ago. She was aware of his presence when she smelled his unique cologne.

"Agent Bristow." He said his voice stern.

"Sark."

He stretched out in the hammock next to her.

"Your mother tells me you want to talk."

"I'm not talking to you either."

"A great Swedish playwright once wrote we speak of the imperative and disregard the irrelevant. So obviously Mr. Tippin is an irrelevant matter."

Sydney launched from the hammock, it flipped over and Sark fell to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

"DON'T YOU DARE CALL HIM IRRELEVANT. HE WAS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND FOR HIS NAME TO ESCAPE YOUR LIPS IS A TRAVESTY." Sydney yelled before storming across the lawn and into the house.

**In the house**

Sydney stretched out across the sofa and clutched a pillow to her chest. Her body shook with the force of her tears, as her mind flashed back to that night nearly a year ago.

**Flashback (Winter the previous year)**

**"What do you mean the movie was unrealistic? Did you see the kicks and flips those guys did. I see you guys do that stuff all the time." Will said teasing Sydney as they walked down the sidewalk of downtown .**

**"No we don't. The placement of their kicks were completely off. There is no way he could have crippled that guy with a blow to his clavicle." Sydney retorted.**

**She stopped walking and turned when she noticed Will wasn't by her side. He was staring at her his sky blue eyes full of laughter.**

**"What?" She asked.**

**"I'm sorry. I just fell in love with you all over again and I had to pick myself up off the ground."**

**"That was the worst line ever."**

**"I know. That's the last time I steal one of Marshall's pickup lines."**

**Will walked over to her and pulled her into his arms. The combination of his warmth fighting off the cold and seeing his blue eyes full of love, she shivered. He pulled her closer to him, she looked into his eyes as they closed the distance between them. They stood that way locked in the sweetest expression of love. A each few hours later he dropped her off at home. That morning as they lay in each other's arms she felt that for the first time that her life couldn't get any better.**

**"I'll be back in two weeks. It's simple coverage of an ambassadors meeting." He said stroking her hair lightly.**

**"Hmm. I'm sure I will find some way to entertain myself." She said kissing him again.**

**It was two weeks later on the day of his return that she saw the broadcast.**

**"In breaking news. Four reporters were killed today at the American Embassy. Five officials are said to be in critical condition. The shooter was said to be against the ambassadors vision of a united world."**

**Two seconds later her phone rang.**

**"Bristow." She answered.**

**"Sydney, I'm so sorry. I just received word, Will was one of the reporters killed in the shooting at the embassy." Her father's voice said on the other line.**

**"Thanks dad." She said hanging up.**

**She sat there sipping her coffee the realization of what her father's statement meant not registering.**

**It wasn't until two days later when she was speaking at his funeral that it truly hit her. Mid sentence she stopped and looked down at the casket that held the body of the man she loved. She looked out at her family. Her father in his military best holding her mother in his arms as silent tears trickled down her face. Nadia watching her eyes shimmering trying to hold back the tears that were threatening to come. Her knees went out and she collapsed to the ground, tears wracking her body. Her father crouched down next to her and lifted her to her feet. That was the end of the funeral. She remained in her father's arms as they lowered him into the ground. She thought back to the first funeral she had went to. It had been her mother's. But unlike the burial of Laura Anderson Bristow, this was real.**

"Sweetheart, it's ok. It's ok." Irina said pulling Sydney to her as she tried to calm her down.

"Mom, I loved him so much. I miss him. I miss him so much." Sydney kept sobbing.

Irina held her tighter, the tears brimming in her eyes.

"I know sweetheart. I know. We all miss him too."

**A few minutes later**

Sydney walked back out into the backyard to find her mother pairing couples up.

"Dad, what's going on?" Sydney asked

"Your mother, is making teams for her annual couples volleyball tournament." Jack said inching towards the house.

"Jonathan Donahue Bristow, where do you think you're going?" Irina said without turning around.

Sydney smiled slightly at her father's defeated expression.

"Sydney," Irina said turning towards her daughter "glad you decided to join us again. You need a partner."

"Mom, I'm ok. I'd rather watch."

"Sydney how do you expect to get any pleasure out of life if all you do is watch."

By this time Vaughn had walked over to offer to be Sydney's partner. Irina stopped him, a firm hand on his chest.

"Not this time Michael," Irina said sweetly "Julian, will you be Sydney's partner."

"Mom, you can't be serious. I really don't need a partner."

"Your mother is right Sydney. While I am sure there are numerous things you can handle on your own, it is my belief that a partner can make them much more pleasurable." Sark said walking over to her.

The first matchup was Jack and Irina versus Vaughn and Liza.

Jack reluctantly slipped into the pool. A second later Irina executed a beautiful swan dive and surfaced next to him.

"What's wrong?" Irina asked concerned, slipping her arms around his neck.

"I hate volleyball."

"Why?" she said kissing him.

"Bad experience. That was how I broke my nose the first time."

"I promised I'll make this experience better." She teased kissing him on the nose.

He laughed and the game began. Jack served the ball and Vaughn swam to hit it, only to collide head first into his partner. The rest of the game continued in the same manner. When the final ball was served by Liza, Jack jumped up and spiked it sending it crashing into Vaughn's face.

"Shit, my eye." He cursed.

Almost immediately his eye began to swell and darken.

"Come with me Michael. Let's get something cold to reduce the swelling." Irina said helping him out the pool.

"Ok, Sydney, Sark, you two are going against Hayden and Dixon." Jack announced.

Sydney rolled her eyes at him and jumped into the pool. Sark stripped down to his swimtrunks and dove in after her. Reluctantly Sydney served the ball and the game began. She had to admit Sark was really athletic. He dove and saved the ball sending it over the net with ease.

"Come on Syd show me what you're made of." Dixon teased.

The game continued with the teams going back and forth. It was Sark's turn to serve and next point won. He served a perfect ball that sailed just out of Dixon's reach.

"Yay!" Sydney screamed throwing her arms around Sark.

When she realized what she had done she drew back quickly.

"Um. Never mind." She said getting out of the pool.

The final game was between Irina and Jack against Sydney and Sark. Sark served the ball first and the game began. Irina's speed and Jack's strength met for a dangerous combination. But Sydney and Sark's youth allowed them to squeak out the victory. An exhausted Jack lifted himself out of the pool and collapsed his chest heaving.

"I told you to run with me in the mornings." Irina said trying to maintain a normal breathing pattern.

She had to admit defeat and sat down next to her husband gasping for breath.

"Let's hear it for our 2010 pool volleyball winners." Irina managed to say.

Everyone clapped.

"You lucky kids have won an all expense paid dinner for two at Chateau Viragio courtesy of Jack and I."

"Wine included."

Irina nodded in exhaustion. Sark turned to Sydney and bowed.

"It was a pleasure playing with you." Sark said smiling devilishly.

She rolled her eyes. He turned back to everyone else waved goodbye. He extended a hand to Jack.

"I just want to thank you Mr. Bristow. I feel like I'm a part of the agency family now."

"Yeah. . . .you are . . . .see you . . . .Monday." Jack panted.

"Irina." Sark bowed.

Irina smiled up at him her face still flushed.

Before leaving he took Sydney's hand in his and kissed it.

"Tomorrow night at seven mademoiselle." He said.

She reluctantly agreed. She watched as he walked away, the arrogant jerk. But he did have a cute butt, she thought with a smile.

Nadia and Irina noticed the smile on Sydney's face and shared a knowing look. Phase one was complete.


	2. Chapter 2

**The day before the APO pageant**

Irina was sitting at her desk, carefully monitoring Sark's every move. She saw him walk towards the coffee room and quickly intercepted him, arriving at the coffee pot first.

"Good morning." She said sweetly.

"Good morning." He said back.

She poured herself a cup then poured him one.

"So how has everything been."

"Good."

A moment of silence ensued before Irina slammed her cup down on the table.

"Cut the crap Julian. You know exactly what I want to know. You took my daughter out to dinner last week and neither one of you have told anyone about it. How did it go?"

"Fine the food was lovely, and your daughter is exquisite company. If you will beg my pardon, I must return to work now." He replied nodding politely and walking away.

Irina watched her apprentice walk away, a smile crept across her face. She had taught him well.

"Did you find out anything?" Jack asked joining Irina in the coffee room.

"No. Did Sydney tell Nadia anything?" Irina asked.

"Not that I know of." He said pouring a cup of coffee.

"Something happened on that date. Every since that day she has been clinging to that crown more than ever."

"Hopefully the pageant will lift her spirits."

"Speaking of the pageant you haven't bought your suit yet."

"I have a million of them at h . . ." Jack stopped short upon seeing the look on Irina's face.

"Like I said you haven't bought your suit yet. We'll go on your lunch break."

"You can't come with me. Then you would be a biased judge."

"Sweetheart don't you remember, a judge can't have intimate contact with a contestant within two months of the pageant," She teased bring their lips inches apart "and I'm pretty sure our little rendezvous last night completely cut me out of the running."

"Irina. I told you, not at the office." He protested his breath starting to quicken.

"Fine." She said only inches away from him.

"Go back to work."

"What do you think I was trying to do."

"Irina."

"Hey you two. What's going on? You two fighting over coffee or something." Marshall said smiling.

"Nothing Marshall, I'm looking forward to the pageant, I hear you will be competing this time." Irina smiled moving closer to Jack.

"Yeah. And I'm coming with my A game. That's not an actual game, like the A-team game or something, because that would be stupid like as a talent playing a game."

"Yes it would." Irina smiled refilling her cup.

"I'm ready except for my suit. So Mr. B are you ready?"

"Yes Marshall."

"No he's not. He has to buy a suit. I have a great idea," Irina said her expression dangerous.

Jack's eyes widened, she wouldn't dare.

"Why don't you and Jack go suit shopping together. I would go with him, but I'm so swamped with work I just can't."

"Well sure Mrs. B. That is if Mr. B doesn't mind."

"No problem at all," Jack said through gritted teeth "We'll leave at 12."

"Great, see you then." Marshall said walking away with his coffee.

"Well played Agent Bristow." Jack said admitting defeat.

"Thank you director." She replied walking off.

**Around Lunchtime**

Sydney and Nadia were enjoying their lunch at the local café when Nadia decided to ask again about her dinner with Sark.

"Come on Syd you have to tell me. We're sisters." Nadia said.

"I told you it was no big deal. We just ate and had a nice conversation."

"Fine. Don't tell me then. I will find out sooner or later."

"How."

"I'm a spy. I have ways of making people talk. For all you know I could have slipped a truth serum into your drink."

"Nope. I would know if you did."

"Ha. Well guess what Syd. I did. It will start working in a few moments." Nadia smiled triumphantly.

Sydney just stared at her. A minute later Nadia spoke again.

"Ok Syd. What happened on your date with Sark."  
"Nothing."

"Wait, you're supposed to be spilling your guts now. Damn serum doesn't work."  
"Nadia. Where's your vibrator?"

"The top drawer of my night stand underneath Eric's letterman jacket. Wait, why did I just tell you that."  
Realization dawned on Nadia.

"How did you." Nadia said flabbergasted.

"You mean dad never told you, when speaking with someone in a casual setting always keep one eye on your drink. You never know what people will try."

"How dare you! I have to meet Weiss . . . ."

At that very moment Weiss walked over to them and kissed Nadia on the forehead.

"Hi baby. Hey Syd." Weiss said smiling.

"Hi Eric. I was just leaving, feel free to take my seat."

"Thanks Syd, but do you have to leave so soon."

"Yeah. But you and Nadia have fun. She's in a really talkative mood, so feel free to ask her anything."

"Ooook?" Weiss said confused sitting down.

Sydney walked away smiling, Nadia shot her a look that surpassed the Bristow glare but Sydney just waved goodbye and got in her car.

**At the Armani store**

"These suits are so nice but so. . . . . expensive." Marshall said looking at an olive suit.

Jack stepped out of the dressing room in a black suit complete with vest and tie.

"Why don't you try it on. You've been looking at it since you got here."

"No way. Carrie would kill me for even thinking about buying a suit like that."  
"It's on me." Jack said going back into the dressing room.

"Seriously." Marshall said.

"Yes Marshall it's no problem."

A few minutes later both men excited the dressing room to look in the mirror.

"You look dashing Mr. B." Marshall said with a heavy British accent.

"As do you Mr. Flinkman." Jack said smiling.

They went back in the dressing room then went to the register to pay.

"Mr. Bristow how's your wife." The man at the register asked.

"She's fine, I will tell her you asked about her." Jack said smiling.

"Your total is $2512. 37."

Jack nonchalantly took the glossy black card out of his wallet. Marshall just stared and didn't speak.

When they reached the car Jack noticed Marshall wanted to say something.

"What is it Marshall?"

"Mr. B, if you don't mind me asking how do you make so much money."

"I'm a director. We get paid well. As far as my other sources of income, if I told you I would have to kill you."

"Good one Mr. B. I didn't realize you had a sense of humor. Not that I thought you were like a party pooper before. . ."

"Marshall. I'm serious. I would have to kill you."

"Oh." Marshall said.

The rest of the ride passed in a awkward silence.

**Back at APO**

Irina was sitting at her desk working on a mission report, when she saw Marshall pass her an awkward look on his face.

"Hey Marshall. Is everything ok?" she asked.

"Yeah. Fine. I have to get back to work. See you later Mrs. Bristow." He said walking away.

A moment later her husband sat down on the edge of her desk, placing the bag of takeout food on her desk.

"What did you do to Marshall?"

"Nothing. He asked me about my business dealings and I told him the truth."

"Jack you didn't."

"But it's the truth."

Irina laughed taking a sip of her slushy.

"Mmm. Green apple my favorite." She said smiling at Jack wickedly.

He watched her as she slowly took the straw back in her mouth.

"Your evil." He said standing and kissing her lightly on the lips.

"Mmmm. You taste so good." She moaned against his lips.

Jack groaned against her lips.

"Irina not at the office. I could reprimand you for this behavior."

"Go ahead Director. I deserve it. I've been a naughty girl." Irina said pouting.

Jack's face became stoic.

"That type of behavior is inappropriate for the workplace. I will deal with your punishment at a later time. For now return to work Agent Bristow."

"Yes sir. Director." She said bowing her head in mock shame.

She looked up at him.

"Love you." She mouthed.

"Love you too." He mouthed back.


	3. Chapter 3

**Pageant**

After two weeks of preparation it was finally time for the pageant. Due to the success of the last pageant they were able to use a slightly larger venue.

The lights dimmed in the theater and Irina walked out, arm in arm with Dixon to begin. She was wearing a strapless royal purple cocktail dress, Dixon wearing a black suit, his vest and tie matching her dress.

Meanwhile in the audience sat a disgruntled and slightly jealous Chase.

"They would make a cute couple." The agent next to Chase was saying.

"Want to know a secret. The only reason she's co-hosting is because she's screwing the director." She retorted.

"Isn't she married to the director?" The agent asked confused.

Chase sighed and turned her attention back to the stage.

"Good evening, and welcome to the 2nd annual Mr. APO pageant. Once again our fearless guys are here to show off their bodies, and their abilities. It gives me great pleasure to welcome back our international cohorts." Irina said.

"Before we introduce our contestants, let us introduce you to our judges for tonight." Dixon announced.

"First our only returning judge. Mr. Namyre Fahir, from the Egypt branch."

Namyre stood up and blew a kiss to the entire audience.

"I'm back bitches." He said smiling and posing showing off his new fire red Mohawk.

Irina looked down at the name on the card and a shadow crossed her face.

"From Langley. Ms. Elizabitch, excuse me Elizabeth Powell." Irina said, her voice dripping with venom.

She looked backstage, at that exact moment Jack Bristow froze hearing the name and a strange tingling went down his spine. He peeped around the curtain to see his ex-partner and lover stand and wave politely to the crowd. She was still beautiful as ever but his feelings for her were long gone. He noticed the shadow in his wife's eyes and he paled, this was going to be a long night.

"From France, Mrs. Genevieve Delacroix." Dixon said.

A lanky blonde stood waving to the crowd. Backstage Sark froze in place.

"What is she doing here?" Sark said.

"Who?" Vaughn asked walking up behind him

"My ex." Sark said simply turning away from Vaughn.

"She's hot, why did you two break up?"

"Nothing major, like lack of respect or mistreatment. I realized I just like brunettes better."

"Ha. Word to the wise. Stay away from brunettes they're nothing but trouble, just like my last girlfriend."

"But they're worth it. Brunettes are tigresses in the bedroom."

"Hmph. Sydney was more like a kitten than a tiger." Vaughn laughed.

"Ahh but Mr. Vaughn even kittens purr when stroked properly." Sark commented nonchalantly.

Vaughn stood there with a look of pure hatred on his brow. Had Sark and Sydney been intimate he thought.

"Is that true Mr. B?" Marshall asked.

Jack shot him a look that could turn Medusa to stone.

"You're right, none of my business."

_In the audience_

"Hey Syd. Wasn't Sark's ex-girlfriend's name Genevieve?" Francie asked.

"No Francie. His ex-fiance's name was Genevieve." Nadia corrected a teasing smile on her face.

Sydney just shrugged, she didn't care. Did she?

**Sydney's Memory**

**She pulled the last few strands of hair up into the bobby pins. Taking a look in the mirror she sighed noticing the picture tucked into the corner of her mirror. It was from her first date with Will, both of them wearing equally giddy expressions. Whether it was from happiness or the bottle of wine they had consumed inside the restaurant, she couldn't remember. Her phone began to ring, bringing her out of her thoughts.**

"**Hello." She answered.**

"**Sydney, I'm about ten minutes away." Sark's voice said from over the phone.**

**His voice is so melodic, she thought.**

"**Ok. I'll be waiting." She hung up.**

**Her sadness temporarily forgotten she couldn't help but feel a bit excited. She had never spent much time in Sark's company. Her mind began to analyze the man that her own mother had taken under her wing. What made him worthy of her mother's time? He was sauve, intelligent, well versed and familiar with the arts, and those eyes. Before she could think about it any further the door bell rang.**

"From Chile, Mrs. Rosario Delgado." Irina announced.

A tall, tanned, black haired woman rose to her feet. She smiled politely and sat down.

In the audience Sydney looked over at Francie.

"Rosario Delgado? Isn't that Weiss's ex-girlfriend." She whispered trying to keep Nadia from hearing her.

"Yeah. I didn't know she was an agent. She looks exactly the same."

"Totally. I wonder if Weiss knows she's here."  
"What? Mi osito's ex-girlfriend. Why was I never told about an ex-girlfriend? Did they have a bad breakup or something."

"That's something you need to discuss with Eric." Francie said.

"I will. I'll be right back." Nadia said.

Before she could go backstage it was time for the guys entrance. She sat back down her mind full of questions.

_Backstage_

Eric Weiss stood looking out at the panel of judges, a somber expression on his face.

"Hey Eric. You ok?" Marshall asked putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm great." Weiss said feigning a smile.

"Ok dude. Isn't that what the kids say dude."

"Yeah. That's what the kids say."

Marshall smiled and walked away leaving Weiss in his thoughts.

"First up we have Mr. Jim Kendall." Dixon announced.

Kendall walks out wearing khaki twill cargo pants, and a hideously red Hawaiian shirt. His head was glossy and shining like a freshly waxed basketball court.

"Kendall is 6 foot 2. He loves classic literature such as Ana Karenina, swimming, and horror movies. His specialty is precision firing. He is fluent in German, and Russian."

"Next we have the punisher of APO. Director Jack Bristow." Irina announced a devilish grin on her face.

Jack walks out wearing a pair of gray slacks, a light khaki shirt and a gray plaid blazer.

"Jack is 6 foot 2. He loves playing chess, attending the opera and spending quality time with his family, but especially his wife. His specialty is precision firing. Hmm, so true he never misses his mark. He is fluent in German, Swahili, Arabic, Spanish, Russian, Chinese, Japanese, Portuguese, Hindi, Italian, French, and Korean to name a few."

"Next Mr. Marshall Flinkman."

Marshall steps out wearing a Yoda t-shirt, jeans, a pair of black converses, and the matching Yoda ears.

"His ears look like Jack's." Weiss teased.

Backstage the remaining guys burst into laughter.

"Marshall is 5 foot 8. He enjoys computer games, inventing mission technology, and spending time with his wife and son. His specialty is data tracking and mapping. He is fluent in. . . . . wookie."

"Next the weakest link in the APO chain, Mr. Michael Vaughn."

Vaughn steps out wearing a pair of white skinny jeans and a Tapout shirt.

"Michael is 6 foot. . ." Irina stops talking when Vaughn attempts to flex.

"Irina." Dixon whispers.

"Sorry his idiocy is appalling. He enjoys free running, extreme martial arts, and . . . . .weight lifting. Seriously Vaughn you expect them to believe that."

"Irina."

"Ok. He is fluent in French and . . . . ." a smile spreads across Irina's face "before I continue I would like to point out that descriptions such as their knowledge of language is written in by the contestant. Now where was I. Oh yes. Mr. Michael Vaughn has written down that he is fluent in French and Mandolin. Wow, and here I was thinking that you could get no worse in my book."

The entire audience begins to laugh, as Vaughn hangs his head in shame.

"Next, Mr. Eric Weiss."

A puff of smoke arises in the middle of the stage. The crowd gasps, many reaching for their concealed weapons. When it dissipates Weiss is standing there wearing black slacks and shirt, with a royal blue vest, and matching tie. His hair is combed back slick giving him a debonair appearance.

"Weiss is 5 foot 10. He enjoys magic, bowling, and traveling. His specialty is swat tactics. He is fluent in German and Spanish."

"He looks so handsome." Nadia said smiling up at her boyfriend.

"He sure does, and it seems like you're not the only one who noticed." Sydney said pointing to a smiling Rosario.

Sydney turns to her sister her face unbelieving when she heard the faint click of a safety being released.

"Nadia." Sydney chastises.

"What. Just in case." Nadia replies innocently.

"At this time it is my privilege to announce out final contestant of the night. My protégé, Mr. Julian Sark."

Sark steps out wearing gray slacks, a gray vest, and a lavender shirt with the sleeves rolled up.

"Sark is 5 foot 11. He is a gourmand, a connoisseur of wine, and a trendsetter. His specialty is precision knife throwing, I wonder who he learned that from. He is fluent in Russian, French, Japanese, and Spanish."

Sark looks out into the crowd and locks eyes with Sydney. She gasps remembering that night only weeks ago

**Sydney's Memory**

**She opened the door to see Sark standing there in a black suit. He is wearing a blue shirt underneath that matches his eyes.**

"**Good evening, mademoiselle." He says lifting her hand to his lips.**

**Sydney can barely speak since she is slowly drowning in his eyes. All of a sudden her mind goes back to another set of blue eyes that she could just drown in. **

"**Sydney, is everything ok?" Sark asks his voice even.**

"**Of course." She said stepping out of the door. **

**Sark extends his arm and she gladly links arms with him.**

"**Your chariot awaits." he said escorting her to the passenger side of his Challenger.**

"**Nice car." She said politely.**

"**Thank you. Your mother has exquisite taste in automobiles."  
"My mother?"**

"**Yes, she purchased it for me when I joined APO. She said it was a sort of a graduation present."**

"**Oh."**

"**Sydney before we leave I want to make it perfectly clear that the only agenda I have this evening is to have a delightful evening with a friend."  
"Thank you Julian." She said smiling as he backed out of her driveway.**

"Before we begin our first talent portion, would any judges like to make a comment." Dixon said.

"Hit it DJ." Namyre says.

From the speakers It's Raining Men booms, while Namyre performs a "seductive" routine. The music fades and he sits back down wiping sweat from his brow.

"You all look so delicious. It's a shame you aren't competing this year Marcus."

Dixon clears his throat and motions for Rosario to speak.

Rosario smiles at Weiss.

"Long time no see Eric. Don't think our relationship is going to help you in this competition mi osito." She says smiling.

Weiss looks out in the audience to see Nadia being restrained by Sydney.

"What's wrong? You don't remember the pet name I gave you."

"Of course I remember." He said sadly.

Nadia is still trying to break out of Sydney's grasp.

"How dare she call him her teddy bear. I'm going to kill her."  
"Nadia please, what would mom say?"

"She would give me the gun."  
"True."

"And to think I almost declined the offer to be a judge. I am happy I changed my mind. It really has been too long Julian." Genevieve smiles.

"I'm afraid I do not share your enthusiasm." Sark said his expression dark.

"My lugubrious lover, how I have missed you."

"Looks like someone is moving in on your territory." Nadia teases.

"Sark and I are nothing to each other. Merely friends."

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that. But when Genevieve swoops in and steals him you won't have anyone to blame but yourself."

"Ok Nadia. Why should I care if that blonde bimbo wants him back."  
"So she's a bimbo now."

"You know what I mean."  
"No, I'm afraid I don't. Please elaborate."

Sydney sighed and shook her head and turned back to the stage. From onstage a smile crossed Irina's face, due to the conversation she just witnessed. That smile quickly faded once Elizabeth began to speak.

"I could say it's been a while since I saw you last Jonathan, but if memory serves that bar in Hong Kong was only last month." Elizabeth said.

Jack paled and closed his eyes waiting for his wife's reaction.

"WHAT?" Irina questioned, her voice even but full of rage.

"And you are?" Elizabeth said confused.

"His wife."

"Right the terrorist. Nice to finally meet you," Elizabeth said feigning excitement "Come on Jonathan, you could do so much better."  
"You egotistical hussy, how dare y . . ." Irina attempted to say before Dixon pulled her away from the mic.

"Next up will be our talent competition." He said dragging Irina backstage with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Talent Competition Part One**

"Now we will begin our talent competition. First we will have Mr. Marshall Flinkman." Irina announced feigning a smile.

Marshall walks out wearing a pair of baggy blue jeans, a blue True Religion hoodie and a fitted cap. Around his neck is a large platinum chain bearing the symbol for pie.

"Yo, Yo, Yo, what's up Los Angeles. Is your boy Master Flink on the ones and twos. Isn't that right ones and twos. Anyways DJ drop that beat . . . . yo."

A heavy rap beat begins to boom through the speakers.

"It's you boy Master Flink and I came to play. So all you lame brothers need to get out my way. Yall can have your flashy cars with the tricked rims, the mazaratis, the lambos and the Mercedes Benz. But I'm eco friendly, saving the world is a must. That's why in my garage all you find is a Prius. I can spit from my dome the first twenty seven digits of pie. I know you can't do it so you don't have to lie. But it's all good I'm happy with what I got. Even though I get kidnapped an awful lot. So hate if you want but I came to play, so holla, peace out and have a wonderful day." Marshall raps, once he's finished he lets out a cry resembling the Wookie.

"That wasn't half bad." Rosario says simply.

"You know what they say about men who wear baggy jeans." Namyre said flirtatiously.

Marshall reddens and takes a step back, looking towards Dixon for help.

"That was how you Americans say. Gangster." Genevieve says.

"Just because your rapping doesn't mean you have to rhyme." Elizabeth points out.

"I know. It just was. . ."  
"Did I ask you to explain?"

"No but. . . I."

"Judges will you do your job and introduce the next contestant, or are the duties to much for a Ruskie to understand."

Irina's jaw tightens as she speaks through gritted teeth.

"Thank you Marshall. Our next contestant is Mr. Jim Kendall."

Kendall walks onstage and picks up the guitar waiting for him. He sits down on the stool and looks back at Irina. An odd feeling washes over her, why is he looking like that.

"Jack is a friend. Yeah you know, he's been a good friend of mine. As of late something happened that was hard to define. Jack's got his self a girl, and I wanna make her mine. And she's watching him those eyes. And she's loving with that body I just know it. I wish that I had Jack's girl." Kendall sings his voice raw with emotion.

A stunned silence falls over the crowd. Sydney and Nadia's expressions match their mothers. A mixture of astonishment and disgust. As he sings the final notes of the song he walks over to Irina and looks into her eyes.

"I wish I had Jack's girl. Yeah."

Irina is too stunned to speak, Kendall lifts her hand to his lips then walks back to the middle of the stage to hear the judges comments.

The auditorium is still quiet, all of a sudden.

"That son of bitch. Let me go, I'm going to kill him." Jack's voice booms from backstage.

"Irina darling I am so sorry." Namyre says shaking his head.

"I don't think that was appropriate." Rosario said.

"That is one of my favorite songs, and you completely ruined it." Genevieve whines.

"Well, it seems we have a competition of another sort going on tonight. And I see Jonathan isn't the only one with secrets."

"Um, next Mr. Jack Bristow." Dixon announced.

Jack comes on stage and grabs Irina roughly, kissing her senseless. He let her go shooting Kendall a death stare.

He sits down on the stool and begins to play his an amazing guitar solo before he begins singing.

_I need an easy friend  
__I do  
__With an ear to lend  
__I do  
__Think you fit this shoe  
__I do  
__But you never do  
__Take advantage while  
__You hang me out to dry  
__But I can't see you every night  
__Free  
__I do_

Jack sings in his best grunge voice, his eyes closed. As the last few notes fade away the auditorium erupts in applause. He just nods and waits for the judges comments.

"Good, nice choice of song, you played off the emotions you were feeling." Rosario suggests.

"I think you could have done better with a more soulful song" Genevieve comments.

"You can see me any night you want, just let me know ahead of time." Namyre smiles.

Jack shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

"Thank you for singing our song." Elizabeth smiles.

"What?" He asks.

"You don't remember. It's the song we shared our first kiss to. At the agency Christmas party all those years ago. You promised me that any night I needed you, you would be there. And for the longest you were. . . at my place every night." Elizabeth taunted.

Jack tensed when he remembered she was right. He stood and walked offstage, he tried to express his apology to his wife but she was too busy announcing the next contestant.

"Poor dad." Nadia said shaking her head.

Sydney and Francie nodded in agreement.

"Now Mr. Michael Vaughn." Irina announces.

Once again a guitar is sat down on the stage. Vaughn walks out and slings the plastic guitar around his shoulder. The lights dim and a screen comes down. The main menu to Guitar Hero appears on screen, mumbles run through the crowd. Vaughn enters quick play mode and selects expert level.

"Now you will see what a real guitarist can do." He says.

The digital audience is on their feet for Vaughn's character. The same could not be said for the live one, watching him play the game. His character is wearing an outfit similar to his own. A pair of tight fitting destroyed jeans, cowboy boots, and a destroyed white t-shirt and a cowboy hat.

Sweet Home Alabama begins to play. For a few seconds Vaughn is doing quite well, then things take a turn for the worse. Note after note is missed and the onscreen and live crowd begin to boo him. The game finally stops the madness.

"You suck." The announcer on the game says.

The lights come back on showing an embarrassed Vaughn.

"I think I speak for the entire panel when I say the video game said it all." Elizabeth says, the rest of the judges nodding in agreement.

"Wow Mr. Vaughn even electronics know you are deplorable." Irina says when he walks by.

"What did you see in him in the first place?" Nadia asks her sister.

"Yeah Syd. What did you see in him?" Francie interjects.

"Can we not talk about this." Sydney says defensively.

"Up next Mr. Eric Weiss." Dixon announces

Weiss walks onstage wearing black slacks and a red shirt, the top few buttons undone. The spotlight shines on him as he bows.

"Mi amor, will you join me onstage." He says in a heavy Spanish accent.

"I was wondering why you wore that dress." Sydney said as Nadia stood.

Just as Nadia was about to step towards the stage she noticed that Rosario had stood as well. Since Rosario was closer she reached Weiss first. Weiss just stared unsure what to do for a moment. When Halo began to play he sighed and began his Argentine tango.

"Go Weiss. Nice job buddy." Vaughn said when Weiss dipped Rosario and she let her leg drift up his leg.

During the dance Rosario looked at Weiss her eyes intense.

"She still loves him." Nadia said watching them, her hand slipping unnoticed to the sheath on her thigh.

Weiss and Rosario continued dancing, mesmerizing the crowd with their intensity. As the last note of the song faded away, an object whirred across the stage. Only Sydney, Nadia, and Francie saw the two knives collide and clatter at Nadia's feet. Nadia looked down at the diamond encrusted knife, then up at her mother anger in her eyes.

"Mi osito. I had forgotten what it felt like to dance with someone with such passion." Rosario said still not letting go of Weiss.

He stepped away from her and bowed politely.

"Can I get a glass of water, or a cigarette or something." Namyre said fanning himself.

"The Argentine tango is a very sexy dance, and you executed it beautifully." Genevieve said.

"My fellow judge is right. The Argentine tango should only be done by two people in love. The dance is like making love, it requires the couple to be in perfect rhythm. I did not see that in your performance. You should really get some pointers on being intimate before you attempt this dance again. I'm sure Jonathan would be able to give you some advice." Elizabeth said.

"Why did I throw that knife so soon." Irina thought to herself.

"Now our final contestant Mr. Julian Sark." Dixon announced.

Sark stepped out wearing a solid black tux. He sat down in front of the glossy black grand piano that had been placed on stage. The lights dimmed and the spotlight focused on Sark. A wave of serenity washed over the crowd as the opening chords of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata filled the auditorium.

Sydney closed her eyes thinking back to the night she heard that piece, only weeks before.

**Sydney's Memory**

**They had just finished dinner and were discussing music. **

"**Mozart's Requiem is an exquisite piece, but my vote goes for Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata." Julian said.**

"**I know of it but it has been years since I heard it." Sydney said.**

"**Hold on one moment." Julian said rising to speak with the pianist. **

**A few seconds later the opening chords of Moonlight Sonata began to play. Sark walked back over to Sydney and bowed.**

"**Ms. Bristow. May I have the pleasure of this dance." He said politely.**

**Sydney stood and walked hand in hand with Sark to the small dance floor. They began an elegant waltz oblivious to the people around them.**

"**You dance like an angel." Sark commented.**

"**Yet my feet touch the ground." Sydney replied.**

**They smiled contently.**

"**Where did you learn to waltz?" Sark asked intrigued.**

"**My father taught me when I was little. Except then I used to stand on his feet." **

**Sark laughed.**

"**What's so funny?" Sydney asked.**

"**Your mother taught me how to waltz when I began working for her. She said that a man that cannot waltz should not be trusted."**

"**Trusted with what?" Sydney asked intrigued.**

"**Anything." He replied.**

**Sydney smiled and stepped closer to Sark.**

She was snapped back to reality when thunderous applause erupted around her. She looked up on stage and couldn't help but smile as Sark bowed politely and waited for the judges comments.

"I'm not a fan of classical music. It's not passionate enough for me." Rosario shrugged.

"That was so beautiful, and let me just say you look sexy in that tuxedo." Namyre said.

"Decent job but you missed a chord towards the beginning." Elizabeth pointed out.

"That took me back to our night in Paris together. Just me, you a bottle of 1945 Chateau Mouton Rothschild, Beethoven playing in the background as we made love in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower." Genevieve reminisced.

"That was many years ago." Sark reminded.

"Yes but it feels like it was just last night. After all I think we only got through 200 of the 2,000 positions you said you learned." She smiled.

Sark simply bowed again and turned to walk offstage.

"Genevieve, my dear. I regret to inform that I have learned many more since then, unfortunately your count will stay at 200." Sark said walking offstage.

"Let's see, he's a wine connoisseur like you, he loves Beethoveen, he knows more than 2,000 positions, and he has magic fingers, and you honestly want me to believe he hasn't taken you to bed." Nadia teased.

"Taken me to bed," Sydney repeated "What century are we in."

"So he has taken you to bed." Nadia suggested.

Sydney sighed ignoring her sister's question.

_Backstage_

"Missionary, Doggy, Cowgirl, that's three." Vaughn counted on his fingers.

"You truly are pathetic Mr. Vaughn." Sark said shaking his head.

"That ends our first talent competition. Up next the portion that I'm sure all the ladies have been waiting for: the swimwear competition." Irina smiled.

**Swimwear**

"Now the moment I have been looking forward to all night. The swimwear competition." Irina announced.

"First up, Marshall Flinkman."

Marshall steps out wearing a black and white striped 1920's bathing suit, complete with flippers, a scuba mask, and rubber ducky floaties. He attempts to strut down the runway but only succeeds in falling. In order to play off his fall he begins doing the worm much to the amusement of the crowd.

"Next. . . Eric Weiss." Dixon says still laughing.

Weiss walks out wearing a pair of swimtrunks resembling the Argentinean Flag and a white t-shirt. He struts down the runway and walks over to the judges. He flexes and leans toward Genevieve.

"Touch it." He says pointing toward his bicep.

When she reaches out he snatches his arm away.

"Didn't your parents tell you not to play with guns." He says, turning and walking back up the runway, smiling at Nadia.

Nadia whistled at him, he smiled and pretended to growl at her.

"Next Jack Bristow." Irina says uncaring.

Jack walks out wearing a black t-shirt and the swimtrunks Irina had bought him at a joke store in New York. They were a hideous shade of brown. He walked down the runway and turned his back to the audience so they could see the writing on the back. They read King Kong has nothing on me. His eyes met Irina's and she smiled slightly. Taking that as encouragement he took a deep breath and crouched down on all fours doing his best impersonation of a gorilla. He walked back up the runway grunting and beating his chest.

"Next up, Jim Kendall." Irina announced.

Kendall walks wearing a pair of black short shorts and a t-shirt that reads: I can be the sugar in your coffee even though you drink it black. He turns to Irina shoots his finger pistols and winks. She frowns and gags. He walks down the runway and rubs his hand across his glossy head.

"Teach me how to dougie." Weiss yells, making the crowd laugh.

Angry that his moment in the spotlight is ruined Kendall walks back up the runway to stand next to Jack's who's hands are curled into fists.

"Now, Michael Vaughn." Dixon announced.

Vaughn walks out wearing nothing but a snakeskin speedo. He is carrying a bottle of suntan lotion that he proceeds to open and rub across his chest. Some of the women in the crowd whistle but most just look bored. Unknown to him a small drop of lotion spills on the runway. When he turns to join the rest of the contestants he slips and falls flat on his back, he also falls on the bottle of lotion spreading is across the runway. He manages to slide his way back up the runway.

"Now that the runway has been cleaned off from Michael's failed attempt at seduction. We will now have our final competitor Julian Sark." Irina announced.

Sark steps out wearing a pair of dark blue extra long board shorts, and an a-shirt. In is hand he carries a single lotus. He walks down the runway and looks at the flower, turning it in his hands.

"When we swim. We are not concerned with anything but the water, we do not take the time to see the beauty that is around us. Beauty such as this lotus, that can only be seen during our waking hours. Beauty that is hidden from our view when darkness claims the world. Beauty such as this should not be hidden at anytime, or for any reason." Sark says cryptically.

**Sydney's Memory**

"**This was a good idea Julian." Sydney said breathing in the crisp night air.**

**They had left the restaurant hours ago and decided to take a walk in the park. They reached the pond and stopped for a moment. **

"**Look." Sark said walking towards the water's edge. **

**Sydney followed him and crouched down next to him. **

"**This is a rare phenomenon." He said amazed.**

"**What?"**

"**For a lotus to be out and open at this hour. Did you know that lotus close and sink back into the muddy water in which it grows every night." Sark explained. **

**As he spoke the lotus began to close and sink. Sark reached out and plucked the flower from the water. **

"**Why did you do that?" Sydney asked.**

"**Beauty such as this should not be hidden, at anytime for any reason." He said holding the flower out to her. She closed her eyes and breathed in the sweet aroma.**

Sydney opened her eyes when she felt something land softly on her lap. She looked down to see the lotus, when she looked back onstage for Sark he had already joined the rest of the contestants.

"That was so romantic." Francie says her eyes shining with tears.

"You are his lotus Sydney. Rising from the muck in the morning, so that he may enjoy your beauty. Now I know you never slept with him, because you in the morning is anything but beautiful." Nadia teases.

Sydney isn't really paying attention to anything her sister is saying, she is too busy watching Sark.

"I've never heard Julian speak about something with such passion before. Except wine." Irina thought to herself.

A minute later the lights dim, and Irina, Katya, and Elena walk onstage wearing short black leather dresses with matching stilettos. In their hands are umbrellas. Umbrella begins playing through the speakers as they begin an elaborately choreographed routine. Nearly all the men in the audience stare transfixed, all of the Derevkos are gorgeous, even Elena didn't look so butch.

"Jack is one lucky man." An agent said to his partner.

"Why?"  
"He got to sleep with two of them."  
"Lucky bastard."

"It's raining. Oo baby it's raining." Irina sings as they simultaneously opened their umbrellas just as a torrent of water cascades on the stage, soaking the guys thoroughly.

They smile at the audience. Katya and Elena walk offstage and Irina rejoins Dixon at the podium.

"Since Mr. Vaughn believed his body was so perfect that he didn't have to wear a shirt, we'll start with him." Elizabeth states.

"You've let yourself go since the last time I saw you Michael." Rosario teased.

"The body is ok, but I love the tattoo. I think men with tattoos are sexy." Genevieve says.

Vaughn raises his eyebrows intrigued.

"I don't know what they are looking at. You look the same as last year except this time you look all slimy, like a fish and I hate fish." Namyre said holding his nose.

"I'd rather not comment." Elizabeth said.

Irina opens her mouth to speak then decides to remain silent. . . . for now.

A smile crosses Weiss's face as he shares a knowing wink with Nadia.

"Well, I guess I'll be next. But be warned."

He takes off his shirt revealing a much more muscular physique than the year before. Nadia wolf whistles at him, as he flexes proudly.

"You were cute last year, but now I am pleased to call you sexy. I see you put down some of those ballparks." Namyre smiled.

"The body is ok, but the shorts I love. That is a beautiful color." Genevieve remarked.

"You could stand to lose about 30 more pounds." Elizabeth pointed out.

"That bitch." Nadia said anger resonating in her voice.

"Seeing that flag brings back fond memories." Rosario said dreamily.

"What?" Weiss asked confused.

"Don't tell me you forgot mi osito. The Immigrants Festival five years ago. How we danced in the streets, two lovers indulging in the culture of Argentina. I remember it well. We ate and drank like royalty. Then indulged in each other until the sun gave way to night's solitude. We were in love mi osito." Rosario reminded.

Weiss stood silent upon remembering that day.

"Your right. But I didn't wear these for you. They are for my Argentinean goddess, mi amor, Nadia Santos." Weiss said motioning to Nadia.

Rosario turned her eyes full of hatred, Nadia smirked and blew a kiss at Weiss.

A moment passed then Jack took off his shirt. He turned around and flexes his pecs, making Irina smile slightly.

"Still as sexy as every Jack. May I touch." Namyre asked rising to his feet.

"Hands off." Irina teased.

"I've never seen someone your age have a body like that. You should be proud." Genevieve applauded.

"It's ok." Rosario commented still disgruntled.

"My, my, my, Jonathan you have been working out haven't you. Maybe we could. . . work out together sometime. You know spar a little."

"I'm afraid the position of sparring partner is already taken Lizzy."

"You haven't called me Lizzy in years."

"I meant Elizabeth. I really did mean Elizabeth." He said turning to Irina.

"Please don't apologize. My nephew has an iguana named Lizzy, it's a perfectly common name." Irina shot back.

"Wait no, the last time you called me Lizzy was last month, but you had knocked back a few. It felt just like old times. Both of us completely wasted, our inhibitions lowered to the point of being non-existent."

"Irina I. . ." Jack started.

"We will talk later." She said a pained expression on her face.

Seeing Irina's pained expression, Kendall walked towards her.

"If you take one more step, I will kill you on the spot." Irina said her voice dangerous.

He turned around and took off his shirt.

"Not as great as Jack, but I could work that." Namyre said smiling.

"Your body fits your age." Genevieve said simply.

"You look terribly, absolutely horrendous." Rosario said savagely.

"I prefer a more well defined body, but I'm sure some women here love what your offering, they are just afraid to admit it."

"Are you sure you're not the one who has something to admit." Irina retorted.

"I've admitted everything I needed to. Is there something you want to confess." Elizabeth fired back.

Irina was about to speak when Dixon's hand on her shoulder caused her to stop.

Julian smiles reassuringly at his mentor, then takes off his shirt. He is lean but still muscular. Sydney smiled remembering a night weeks before.

**Sydney's Memory**

**The sky had opened up on their way home and the rain was coming down in torrents. Sark escorted Sydney to her door an umbrella covering them.**

"**I had a delightful evening, Sydney, I hope you share my sentiment." Sark smiled.**

"**It was nice to get out." Sydney replied.**

**Sark took her hand in his and kissed it gently. They shared a smile then Sark turned to walk away. All of a sudden a gust of wind blew the umbrella out of his hand and the rain came down harder.**

"**I can't let you drive in this weather."**

"**It's not that bad. Irina and I once drove through a category 3 hurricane."**

"**Sark please. Come inside, just until the rain let's up." Sydney pleaded.**

"**If you insist." He said.**

**They entered the house shrugging off their soaked jackets. **

"**If you stay in those clothes you'll get sick. Take them off and I'll dry them for you." Sydney offered. **

**She went upstairs to get him some clothes to change into. She handed him the clothes. He entered the small bathroom then, exiting a few moments later wearing the sweatpants she had given him. **

"**I didn't feel comfortable with the shirt." He said handing it back to her.**

"**Oh." She said taking in his physique, not paying attention to the fact that she was holding Will's baseball shirt. **

She was snapped back to reality when Namyre began to speak.

"I would have preferred to see you in the speedo." Namyre winked seductively.

"You're too skinny. I like a man with meat on his bones." Rosario pouted.

"You've been in Los Angeles all this time, and you still haven't gotten a tan." Elizabeth pointed out.

"You're like the thinking man, a perfect work of art, stoic, full of vigor, but you hide it behind that nonchalant personality." Genevieve smiled.

"If I may ask, how does that pertain to my swimwear." Sark asked.

"Well I see you are wearing board shorts. They are the longer made shorts correct. I assume you are trying to downsize your vitality. But I'm afraid it isn't working." Geneieve explained.

Sark just remained quiet his expression stoic once more.

"What is she talking about?" Sydney asked.

Nadia and Francie both looked at her in disbelief.

"Seriously Syd." Francie chastised.

"Take a closer look." Nadia said.

Recognition crossed Sydney's face and she blushed deeply.

"Why are you blushing?" Francie asked.

Nadia gasps.

"You've seen him before! Haven't you! Haven't you!" Nadia said excited.

"Nadia, leave me alone ok." Sydney said feigning anger.

"The cat is out of the bag." Nadia smiled.

"There was nothing to hide in the first place."

"So you have seen him before."

Sydney turned her attention back to the stage.

"I see there is a lot of explaining that needs to be done after this is over." Irina said cryptically.

The auditorium was silent with anticipation.

"Mr. Flinkman, is there a problem." Elizabeth asked.

"No, it's just this is a one piece, and I can't really take off the top. Well I could but then it might fall the rest of the way and not that I don't have a great body because my wife tells me all the time that I have a great body. But she is a little biased, not that her opinion isn't legitimate."

"We will excuse Mr. Flinkman from this portion of the competition. However his scores will reflect his oversight of the rules of this competition." Elizabeth explains.

"Before we continue," Irina smiles "I would like to bring another breach of the rules to the judges attention. The use of padding is not allowed in this portion of the competition, and is obviously guilty of that violation."

"No way this is all natural. This is what a real man is like."

"If you wanted to make yourself seem well endowed you should have checked to make sure that none of it was protruding from your undergarments."

Vaughn looks down and sees the tip of the gym sock he had used to boost his ego. He tucked it back in, his face turning red.

"Your scores for this round are hereby irrelevant." Elizabeth stated.

"I see another potential violator." Namyre says pointing towards Sark.

"How are we to determine if it is padding?" Rosario asked slightly intrigued.

"We will have to check." Namrye said smiling.

"It's not." Sydney yelled from the audience.

Everyone looked at her astonished.

"Please elaborate on how you gained this knowledge." Irina goaded.

"I just know. I'm sure Genevieve can vouch for him as well." Sydney said attempting to turn the attention away from herself.

"Yes, Yes I can." Genevieve smiled devilishly.

"However I can't vouch for Mr. Weiss, or Mr. Bristow." Genevieve added.

"I can vouch for them. I found out last year that they are all natural." Namyre grinned.

"I can vouch for Jonathan as well." Elizabeth added.

"I'm sure he has grown since your last encounter." Irina pointed out.

"In a month. My that would be a feat wouldn't it."

A look of pure betrayal crossed Irina's face, followed by anger and hate.

"This ends out swimwear competition, next up the second part of our talent competition." Dixon announced.

The guys walked offstage. Jack pleaded with Irina to look at him, she didn't look up from her cards.

"Mr. Bristow, allow me to explain myself." Sark said once they were backstage.

"Frankly Mr. Sark I could care less right now. All I have to say is if you hurt her I will hurt you." Jack said walking away.


	5. Chapter 5

**Talent Part Two**

"This next portion of the competition is designed to allow the contestants to showcase their special abilities." Irina announced.

"Due to some of these special abilities we have moved to the arena style auditorium." Dixon explained.

"First up Mr. Eric Weiss, showcasing his swat capabilities." Irina announced.

Weiss walks onto the course wearing gym shorts and a Kevlar vest. He is carrying a AK-47 around his shoulder.

"Mr. Weiss you must complete the obstacle course, however there will be moving targets along the way that you must take down. Do not shoot a civilian or points will be taken away." Genevieve explained.

Weiss nodded.

The buzzer sounds and he takes off easily scaling the rope wall. He jumps down to the ground taking out the targets positioned there. He crawls underneath the barbed wire fort, knocking down the target waiting at the end. Using his new found upper body strength his scales the second rope wall taking out the two skeets that were shot towards him. He swings triumphantly across the puddle and shoots the final target in the bulleye.

"Total time two minutes thirty two seconds." Irina announces proudly. He had shaved thirty seconds off his time.

"Your muscles are trying to rip out of your shirt." Namyre acknowledged.

"That was excellent shooting." Genevieve exclaimed,

"Impressive shooting. But your overall time needs work." Elizabeth said.

"Now I remember why we broke up. All you do is shoot blanks." Rosario said cryptically.

A shadow crossed Weiss's face, and he turned and walked off.

"What did she mean that was the reason they broke up?" Nadia asked Sydney.

Sydney and Francie exchanged a somber look.

"Weiss and Rosario were trying to have a baby but they couldn't. So they went to a fertility doctor." Francie started.

"It was then they found out that Weiss was sterile. She broke up with him a few days later."

Sydney said sadly.

"That bitch. How dare she break up with him over something trivial like that. But I guess it's a good thing. Because if that had never happened Eric and I wouldn't be together." Nadia smiled.

"Next up Mr. Marshall Flinkman performing data mapping." Dixon announced.

Marshall walks out and sits down behind a computer. The large screen descends again so everyone can see what Marshall is doing.

"A anonymous agent is attempting to hack into the database shown on the screen. I will be attempting to not only block them out of the system but attain the data as well." Marshall explained to the crowd.

"We have given the agent a slight advantage, just to make it interesting. You may begin." Elizabeth said.

Marshall's fingers flew across the keyboard in front of him. To the onlookers it seems like a bunch of random numbers and symbols. After a minute a beep was heard and the screen went dark. Then a series of pictures began to swirl on the screen.

"Mr. Flinkman has successfully attained the data, now we will check the agents screen." Irina announced.

Another screen appeared and it was completely black. An "access denied" warning was blinking on the screen.

"That was boring, but you sure are good with your hands." Namyre said.

"I know you are an analyst but you should have picked something else for you talent." Genevieve stated.

"Nice work." Rosario said simply.

"That was very impressive Mr. Flinkman. See me afterward Langley is in need of a guy like you." Elizabeth acknowledged.

"Sorry but I'm loyal to APO." Marshall stated proudly before walking offstage.

"Up next Julian Sark, showcasing his knife abilities." Irina said proudly.

Sark walks onstage with a sheath containing two samurai swords on his back. A cart lined with knives is wheeled to his side.

"There will be moving targets that you must hit with the knives on the cart. Then several skeets will be shot into the air that you must take out using the samurai swords. Do you understand?" Namyre said.

Sark nodded and the first targets began to appear. He easily sent knife after knife sailing into the targets as they began to appear. His hands moving with precision until all the knives were resting in a target. The skeets began flying and he smoothly took the swords from their sheaths and sliced them in two. The final skeet flew high over his head and he launched himself off the ground, slicing it into just as it got out of his reach. He landed the swords at his side. He bowed, then sheathed his swords as the crowd erupted in applause.

"The dexterity of your fingers amazes me, intrigues me, makes me want to know more." Namyre growls playfully.

"That was amazing. It had to take years of practice to learn a skill that well." Rosario said.

"Are those Hitori swords? Where did you get them?" Elizabeth asked.

"My mentor." Sark answered looking toward Irina who was beaming with pride.

"I remember when Jonathan bought me a set for my birthday. They were so special to me. But alas he took them back when we broke up. They looked exactly like those. What a coincidence?" Elizabeth said.

Irina's eyes grew darker.

"Your hands always were skillful, in every way." Genevieve said seductively.

"While that may be true, you my sweet will never know that feeling again." Sark said before bowing and walking offstage.

"Our next two contestants will be competing against each other as well as showing their ability in precision firing. Mr. Jack Bristow and Mr. Jim Kendall." Dixon announced.

Jack and Kendall walked onstage wearing protective eyewear and ear buds. Both of them are sporting shoulder holsters, loaded with the pistols of their choosing.

"There are twenty targets for each of you on this course. The first one to finish the course will win the speed portion then the targets will be examined for accuracy." Genevieve explained.

The buzzer sounded and they took off on the course. Jack was immediately in the lead firing off shot after shot. Kendall wasn't far behind but he had to reload more often. When it got to the final target Jack's bullet reached it first, Kendall's went wild and ricocheted hitting Jack squarely in the eye. Jack collapsed to the ground clutching his eye.

The medical team ran over to him, they took the glasses off revealing a deep gash underneath his eye.

"Thank goodness they were blanks." Irina mumbled.

After the medics were satisfied there was no more damage Jack and Kendall stood to await the judges comments.  
"Jimmy shooting your opponent in the eye isn't classy at all. I guess you're just a sore loser. As for you Jack, Irina was right. You never missed your mark." Namyre stated.

"None of your shots hit the center Mr. Kendall. Mr. Bristow all of yours did so good job." Rosario said.

"You two look like outlaws in the Western movies. I didn't know they made shoulder holsters anymore." Genevieve pointed out.

"May I take a look at your guns Jack." Elizabeth said extending her hand.

He handed her the nine millimeter. She turned it over in her hands then smiled handing it back.

"Just as I thought. Those are the same guns that I bought you for your birthday two years ago."

"Your mistaken, my wife bought these for me."

"Really, then tell me why are my initials engraved on the butt."

Jack looked closely at the gun he was holding and sure enough on the butt were the initials E.P. He took the other out the holster and found the same mark.

He remembered Elizabeth had sent him a set of guns similar to these. Irina had bought him a set as well, but he had pawned. . . .the wrong set, he realized.

"As for you Jim, your shooting wasn't that bad. Maybe Irina would like to show you how. I'm sure she would enjoy the alone time." Elizabeth continued.

Kendall looked at Irina hopefully, she shot him the Derevko death stare.

They walked offstage, Jack attempted to speak to his wife.

"Not right now." Irina said simply.

"Finally Mr. Michael Vaughn." Dixon announced.

Vaughn steps out wearing the same Karate kid outfit he wore the previous year. He does a backflip before speaking.

"I need a volunteer. Someone who isn't afraid to get whupped." He states.

"Would you like Sydney to fight you again." Irina offers.

He blanches and clears his throat.

"Julian Sark. Come meet your maker." Vaughn yells.

Sark walks out a bored expression on his face.

"I must warn you Mr. Vaughn, I am at a greater level than you." Sark said.

"Come on Julian. You're not trying to chicken out are you."

"Hardly. I'm simply trying to save you the embarrassment but if you insist." Sark says taking his fighting stance.

Vaughn smiles then launches himself at Sark. Sark dodges the attack sending him sprawling. Vaughn jumps to his feet and charges him again. He attempts to land a right hook, but Sark catches his hand throwing him backward with ease. The fight continues for awhile in the same manner, Vaughn making failed attempt after failed attempt to hit him. Sark is smiling as he once again sidesteps Vaughn's attack.

"Julian, I think you've had enough fun." Irina laughs.

"You're absolutely right. I have tired of his foolish game." Sark responds before turning on Vaughn his eyes dark.

When Vaughn rushes him this time he flips him effortlessly over his shoulder, throwing him to the ground. Vaughn jumps up only to have Sark's fist connect with his face. He sees stars and crumples to the ground.

"Nicely done Julian." Irina states.

"I have an excellent instructor." He smiles.

Twenty minutes later Vaughn is conscious again. His nose is sitting a little awkwardly and his lip is bleeding profusely.

"That was more pathetic than last year." Namyre whined.

"Of all the things you could have picked Michael, you picked combat. Please even I used to kick your ass." Rosario stated.  
"You look kind of cute all sweaty and bloody." Genevieve said.

Vaughn smiled his teeth bloody.

"How did you pass the test to become a field agent?" Elizabeth asks.

"Imb a good abent." He retorts.

"Hmmph." Irina laughs.

"Boo you have somting do say." Vaughn says walking over to Irina.

She smiles at him sweetly before placing a precisely aimed open palm hit to his nose breaking it a second time. He screamed and crumpled to the ground.

"This ends the second part of our talent competition. Up next the formal wear and questions." Irina says oblivious to Vaughn wriggling at her feet.

_Backstage_

Sark walks over and sits down in the chair across from Weiss.

"What?" Weiss asks.

"Nothing. I was just wondering what Rosario was talking about." Sark asked concerned.

"Why should you care?"

"You're Sydney's friend."

"What's been going on between you two anyways?"

"Nothing, we are just friends."  
"You can't fool me Sark. I've known Syd longer than you. She likes you. . .a lot."

"Hmm."

"Do you like her?"  
"I enjoy her company."  
"The 1800s called, they want their verbiage back."

They both laughed, then stopped when Vaughn joined them.

"It doesn't matter if they like each other. Sydney is too much for him to handle." Vaughn stated, his nose bandaged tightly.

"My, Mr. Vaughn. Irina did a number on you didn't she."

"Stop changing the subject. You're not man enough to handle a woman like Sydney."

"Apparently Mr. Vaughn you are the one lacking where it counts most. Sydney has often remarked that I surpass you in key areas."

"Wait so you and Syd have. . . .you know." Weiss chimed in.

"If you will excuse me I must get ready for competition." Sark said walking away.

"Did you hear that? I think he and Syd are knocking the boots." Weiss said excited.

"No way. He's not man enough." Vaughn said walking away disgruntled.

"So Sydney. How do you know that Julian is all natural?" Nadia asked again.

"Yeah Syd. You never told me about this and I'm your best friend." Francie added.

"If you must know we were at The Y one day and. . ." Sydney started.

"Wait a minute. You were at The Y. You two have been hanging out, and here we were thinking it was just one date." Nadia said excited.

Sydney sighed realizing what she had just let slip.

**Sydney's Memory**

**It had been three days since her date with Sark. She walked into The Y to the room designated for the self defense classes she had been teaching for a month now. One of the receptionists entered the room.**

"**Ms. Bristow, they have assigned you a co-teacher." She said.**

"**Ok, that's fine." Sydney smiled.**

**A moment later she heard the door open and saw Sark walk in smiling. **

"**What are you doing here?" Sydney asked.**

"**I'm your new co-teacher. I thought I should volunteer more as a way to rectify some of my past transgressions." He explained.**

"**Oh. You know you're probably going to serve as the class punching bag." Sydney smiled.**

"**Fine by me. I have padding, although I may need more."**

"**Why?"  
"Derevko/Bristow kicks are different from regular kicks." He said laughing.**

**The next few days Sydney and Sark became better friends. It was roughly a week after Sark began volunteering there that it happened. Sydney didn't usually take showers at The Y but her hot water heater was on the fritz. She walked toward the women's showers when she noticed the "closed for renovations sign". Reluctantly she slipped into the now unisex showers. She looked around and it seemed empty. As she stepped around the corner she ran into Sark sending them both sprawling. When he stood up the towel that was tied around his waist fell revealing himself. He quickly picked it back up retying it around his waist and helping her to her feet.**

"**I'm so sorry. I should have watched where I was going." Sydney said blushing.**

"**It's fine. No harm done." Sark replied walking past her to his locker.**

A brief respite is allowed, so that everyone can stretch their legs. The judges head backstage for a breather. Sydney goes backstage to talk to Sark.

"I'm so sorry. I let slip that we have been hanging out lately." Sydney apologized.

"Of all the slips you've made tonight. That's the one you're apologizing for." Sark replies smiling.

"Sorry about the other one too. But would you rather have Namyre check."

"Touché."

Across the room Genevieve pulls Vaughn to the side.

"Michael right. Who is that brunette Julian is speaking to?"

"That's Sydney. My ex."

"Hmm. Why did you two break up?"

"She cheated on me."

"You poor dear."

"Broke my heart, I gave her the best of me." Vaughn said feigning tears.

"I love you." Nadia said throwing her arms around Weiss's neck.

He wrapped his arms around her and smiled.

"I love you too."

"I love seeing you smile. You have a great smile."

"Well you make me smile." He said kissing her lightly.

"Corny alert." Sydney said walking over to them.

"I'm sure you and Sark are just as bad." Nadia teased.

"What was that? I believe I heard my name." Sark smiled.

"Nothing." Sydney said hastily.

"We were talking about couples. How they have certain mannerisms in public. Take me and Nadia for example. We are like that John Legend song. We just don't care. You two on the other hand are more subtle. For instance, right now you are standing close to each other with your hands by your side. Seems innocent enough but your hands are so close they're almost touching, that way you are holding hands without holding hands." Weiss explained.

Sydney realized that she was standing close to Sark and took a step away, blushing slightly. Sark looked over and laughed at Sydney's hasty retreat.

Irina stood watching her daughters' conversation. She smiled seeing how happy they looked. That smile quickly faded when she felt Jack hug her from behind.

"Sweetheart." He said his voice pleading.

"I have nothing to say to you Jack, or should I say Jonathan." Irina said attempting to release herself from his grasp.

He only reinforced his hold.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Hong Kong. It wasn't that big of a deal so I forgot about it."

"Not a big of a deal. She saw you naked apparently. Then you continue to make references to your relationship with her."

"That was not intentional."

"That's even worse. Your subconscious is thinking about her." Irina said walking away.

He grabbed her arm pulling her to him roughly.

"All I can think about is you, and only you. You are the one I want to see when I wake up in the morning. You are the one that I want to see wearing my dress shirt when you're cooking breakfast. It's you that I think about when I'm stuck in briefings or stuck in traffic. I love you Irina and I know I screwed up. Please forgive me." Jack said dropping to his knees.

"Are you seriously doing this right now?" Irina said annoyed.

He reached into the pocket of his suit and pulled out a short stemmed white rose. He rose to his feet again.

"Irushka Jane Derevko Bristow. I love you, please forgive me." He said softly.

No one backstage was ready for the reaction that followed. Her hand connected with face so fast he didn't see it coming. The impact reopened the cut from earlier.

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?" Jack yelled.

"FIRST OF ALL I HATE WHITE ROSES, AND YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT. AND AS FOR MY NAME. MY NAME IS IRUSHKA GISELLE DEREVKO BRISTOW. WHO THE HELL IS JANE?" Irina yelled back.

"Jane's my middle name, and fyi I love white roses." Elizabeth said as she walked by.

"I told you she's on your mind. YOU BRING ME HER FAVORITE FLOWER. CALL ME BY HER MIDDLE NAME. YOU F*KED HER IN HONG KONG."  
"I DIDN'T DO ANYONE IN HONG KONG."

"REALLY THEN HOW DID SHE SEE MR. FUN."

"IRINA. NOW IS NOT THE TIME."

"REALLY THEN WHEN IS THE TIME JACK. WHEN YOUR MAKING OUT WITH HER."

Jack let go of her his eyes blazing.

"Um Syd. I think it's time for us to go." Nadia said kissing Weiss.

"Yeah. I think you're right." Sydney said.

Without thinking, Sydney kissed Sark lightly on the cheek before walking away. Nadia just looked at her unbelieving. She was about to speak when.

"I HAVEN'T KISSED ANYONE BUT YOU."

"F*CK YOU JACK BRISTOW. OH THAT'S RIGHT ELIZABETH ALREADY HAS THAT COVERED."

Nadia let it slide for the moment as they went back to their seats to avoid their parents' stared after her a smile playing on his lips.

From across the room Genevieve noticed the interaction. She waited for Sark to glance her way before placing her hand on Vaughn's chest.

"Talk to you later Michael." She said loud enough for Sark to hear.

Little did she know that he didn't care.


	6. Chapter 6

**Formal Wear and Questions**

"Our final portion tonight before we crown our new Mr. APO is the formalwear competition and questions. Each contestant has picked a song that best describes them to play as they model for us. We won't announce who the person is. See if you can guess from their choice of music." Dixon announces.

_OMG starts playing  
_The audience prepares itself to see Weiss walk out. Instead Jack steps out wearing a white Armani suit, with a blood red vest and tie. Perched on his head is a white fitted cap. He takes a blood red rose out of his breast pocket and hands it Irina. Once she takes it he precedes to dance down the runway, in perfect time with the music. The music stops and he moonwalks much to the amusement of the crowd to his seat. He looks at Irina expectantly, she is smiling slightly.

_Back at One starts to play  
_The audience gasps as Kendall walks out wearing the exact same suit as Jack's, including the fitted cap. They are further shocked when he hands Irina a rose similar to the one Jack gave her and kisses her on the cheek. Much to everyone's shock she doesn't kill him on the spot. She just exchanges a death stare with her husband. Kendall walks down the runway and puts his hand in his pockets. The music stops and he attempts to moonwalk like Jack did but ends up falling. He jumps up quickly and sits down leaving a seat between him and Jack.

_You can Leave your hat on begins to play  
_A chorus of sighs ripples through the crowd. No one is shocked when Vaughn steps out. He is wearing a black Kenneth Cole suit, with a yellow vest and tie. His shoes are the same alarming shade of yellow. He takes off his jacket and tosses it to Genevieve. He then rips off the shirt, throwing it at Sydney who allows it to drift unceremoniously to the ground. He turns to see Sark and Weiss backstage snickering. He walks over to Genevieve who hands him back his jacket. He slips it on then kisses her on the cheek. He struts back and takes a seat next to Jack.

_Pretty Boy Swagg booms through the speakers  
_Once again everyone expects to see Weiss, and this time they are correct. Weiss walks out wearing a black Calvin Cline suit, with a royal blue vest and tie. He is sporting a large diamond in his left ear. He takes off his jacket and deposits it on his chair before swagging down the runway. He makes a single chrysanthemum appear in his hand. He kisses it then waves his hand across it makes it turn into a beautiful bouquet, which he gives to Nadia. He then turns and dances his way back to his seat.

_L.O.V.E begins to play  
_Sark steps out wearing a dark charcoal Gucci tailored suit, with a pale blue shirt that highlights his eyes. Sark walks to the middle of the runway and the music lowers slightly. He smiles at Sydney and begins tap dancing. The audience at first is shocked but then they are lost in Sark's graceful moves. Sydney watches intently as he gracefully dances to the music.

The final notes of the song fade and everyone is shocked again when Sark sings in his pleasing tenor voice.

"Love was made for me and you." He sings smiling at Sydney.

He bows then walks back taking his seat next to Weiss.

_The Star Wars theme begins to play  
_Marshall walks out sporting a Jedi cloak. He throws it off revealing an olive Armani suit with a white shirt. His hair is slicked back with an absurdly large amount of gel. From the audience Carrie tosses him a light saber. He extends the blade and poses in a series of heroic stances. He withdraws the blade then bows and walks back to his seat next to Sark.

"Judges if you could give us brief comments, and pick the one contestant you think looks best. Elizabi. . beth we'll start with you." Irina announced.

"First let me say all of you have impeccable taste. As for the guy I choose I have to give my vote to you Sark. Sorry Jack, I couldn't pick you even though you're wearing my favorite color. That song was playing in Hong Kong that night. I remember because I had you saying Oh my God when it came to my moves." Elizabeth says licking her lips seductively.

"What?" Jack asked confused.

"Your cute when you're playing dumb."

Seeing the look that crosses Irina's face Namyre stands and cues the DJ. The beat to I'm to Sexy begins to play.

"You're to sexy for your suit, to sexy for your suit." He sings pointing at the guys individually.

The music stops and he sits back down.

"As for the guy I pick. Everyone hold onto your panties. I choose Marshall. The way you welded that stick was such a turn on." He purrs.

Marshall reddens and adjusts his collar nervously.

"All of you look great, except for you Master Flink no one should ever wear a suit in any shade of green. My vote for best dressed goes to mi osito Eric. I only hope the magic you continue to exhibit here has carried over to the bedroom. It was your fatal flaw mi amor." Rosario comments.

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe it was you that needed help in the bedroom." Nadia interjects.

"Ha. Look at me. Do I look like I need help when it comes to the romance department."

"Well, you are the one still single, and he's been dating me for three years now."

Rosario turns on Nadia her eyes dangerous.

"My mother was the greatest agent Argentina had ever seen, and she personally saw to my training, do you really want to fuck with me."

"My mother was number 3 on the CIA's most wanted list. My aunts Katya and Elena were number 4 and 5 respectively. I was trained by all of them. Do you really want to start with me?"

Rosario blanched then turned her head. Irina smiles proudly at her daughter.

"All of you look dashing. But my vote goes to Mr. Vaughn, it's something about that suit that's just sexy. The color really brings out the highlights in your hair, and that body is out of this world. But I would like to say Julian you are duller than usual. I guess certain female influences in your life have dampened your passionate spirit." Genevieve said turning to look back at Sydney.

"I'm afraid you are wrong my dear. That influence you are referring to has only added to the passion of my life. In all aspects." Sark answered.

"Wait what?" Vaughn says confused.

"Moving right along? We will now ask our guys a series of questions before the judges final deliberation and our crowning of Mr. APO. We will draw a random name and question." Dixon announces hastily.

"The first question is to Eric. What is your biggest regret?" Irina asks.

Weiss sighs heavily.

"My biggest regret was keeping my past relationships a secret from mi amor. I know that I can tell her anything because she is my best friend and loves me unconditionally. But I was afraid, but I'm not anymore. I dated Ms. Delgado five years ago, and I don't regret doing so. Because if I had never dated someone as cold hearted and manipulative as her I wouldn't appreciate the loving and beautiful woman I am madly in love with now. That is my biggest regret mi amor. I should have been honest with you. We should have no secrets." Weiss answered.

Nadia blew a kiss at him and smiled.

"It's ok. Mi osito. I forgive you."

He smiled back at her catching her kiss.

"Master Flink. What is most important to you?" Dixon asked.

"My wife and son. Nothing is more important than them. Well my life is important too but they are my life. Not like literally my life like they have my soul. But then again they do say when you get married it's like a joining of souls so maybe Carrie has half of my soul. I wonder if souls are hereditary not like you pass on your soul but like a genetic copy of. . . I'm going to stop talking now." Marshall answers.

"Kendall. What was the greatest day of your life and why?" Irina asks.

"The greatest day of my life was they day a special brunette set foot in the Rotunda. She came to turn herself in and as I lead her back to her cell her wrist handcuffed to mine I knew that we were perfect for each other. It was that day that I knew I had found the woman of my dreams." Kendall answers.

Irina rolls her eyes annoyed.

"Jack. . ." Dixon begins.

"What the hell happened in Hong Kong." Irina interjects.

"Jack, What is your biggest fear?" Dixon says.

"A lot of you here probably believe I'm not afraid of anything, and for the most part you're right the thought of losing my life doesn't scare me. I'm not afraid of something silly like snakes or the dark. But I do have one fear. I'm afraid of losing the woman I love. Without her the Jack Bristow you know doesn't exist. Without her my life is empty and meaningless. Without her I would crumble into ruin." Jack muses.

Irina gasps, he is never this open with his feelings, except when they are in private.

"Don't worry Jack. If you crumble into ruin, all you need is the right person to put you back together again." Elizabeth offers.

"No. She is the right person. She always has been and always will be."

"I remember when you said the same thing about me." Elizabeth retorts.

"That was a long time ago."

"No Jonathan. It was last month."

"Sark, describe your ideal date?" Dixon announces attempting to defuse the situation.

"My ideal date is actually rather simple. A nice quiet evening with an exquisitely beautiful companion. We would go to a restaurant where both the food and atmosphere are acclaimed. Throughout the course of dinner we would share a bottle of wine and discuss our trivial everyday ordeals. Afterwards we would embark on a nice relaxing walk in the park, breathing in the night air and taking in the beauty that the city has to offer. Then once the humanly need for slumber takes over I would take her home exchange a quick kiss goodnight and bid her adieu. That is of course if it is not raining and the roads are impossible to drive on." Sark explains exchanging a smile with Sydney.

"Is that what your date was like a few weeks ago?" Nadia asked.

"I hope so. That sounded so romantic." Francie swooned.

"Something like that." Sydney smiled.

"Finally Michael. This is going to be too good. What type of lover are you?" Irina laughs.

"I'm a fierce fireball of passion in the bedroom. I'm full of energy and vigor, going at a never ending rhythm." Vaughn begins.

"That is over very quickly." Sydney whispers to Nadia.

Nadia and Francie erupt into laughter.

"I heard that. The only reason it didn't last that long was because you couldn't handle me and all my moves."  
"I'm sure I know more than you. Name four."

"Missionary, doggy, cowgirl, and . . . um. . . um."

"That is so pathetic." Nadia laughs.  
"Oh yeah well you name four."

"Scissor, doggy, cowgirl, lotus, reverse cowgirl, the great divide. Shall I continue." Sydney retorts.

"Where was all of this when were together."

"You couldn't handle it Michael. It would require you to stay alert more than thirty seconds."

The crowd erupts in laughter.

"Well I say you're lying. There's no way all of those are real."

"It would amaze you what you can learn from Karma Sutra."

"You don't know how to do. . ."

"Explain why not. Nadia and I both took a class."  
"I can vouch for that. That's a great class by the way. I sent the instructor a gift basket." Weiss says smiling.

He looks over at Sark who is smiling in what seems to be agreement.

"They even showed us how to ensure we achieve an orgasm."  
"You had plenty of those with me."

"I'm afraid not the Big O. It wasn't until recently that I experienced that."

"So how many different moves do you claim to know?" Vaughn asks slightly intrigued.

"3,000 but unfortunately for you. You will never know more than the two we got to." Sydney says back.

Sark gulps and adjusts his collar.

"How does that make you feel Julian? She knows more than you." Genevieve says.

"Yeah Sark. Since you want to imply I'm an amateur. What about you?"

"Where do you think I learned the new moves I spoke of earlier?" Sark smiled.

Genevieve and Vaughn are rendered speechless. Nadia looks at her sister expectantly.

A few minutes later the results are in and the new Mr. APO is about to be crowned.

"This has been a long night, and I'm sure all of you want nothing more than to go have a drink somewhere. I know I do." Irina said.

"But we have one final thing to do. Everything tonight has lead up to this moment. The crowning of the 2010 Mr. APO." Dixon announces.

"It is my pleasure to announce our sixth place finalist for the second year in a row. Mr. Michael Vaughn." Irina smiles.

Vaughn smiles and Genevieve claps for him. She's the only one.

"In fifth place Mr. Jack Bristow."

Jack doesn't even hear the announcement his eyes are distant and uncaring. A few mumbled "poor guy" and "I wonder what happened in Hong Kong" run through the crowd.

"In fourth place Mr. Jim Kendall."

Kendall bows and smiles hesitantly at Irina. A few people clap hesitantly.

"In third place. Mr. Julian Sark."

The crowd erupts in applause.

"This year we were able to purchase a bronze crown for our third place winner. Congratulations Julian." Irina says placing the crown on his head.

He extends his hand to Sydney who joins him on stage giving him a hug.

"In second place. Mr. Marshall Flinkman." Dixon announces placing the silver crown on his head.

Marshall let's out a loud wookie cry as Carrie and Mitchell join him on stage. He lifts Mitchell into his arms.

"Do you remember what the atomic number of silver is?" he asks.

"47." Mitchell replies smiling at his father.

"Which means, Mr. Eric Weiss is our 2010 Mr. APO." Irina announces smiling at her future son-in-law.

She places the cape around his shoulders and Nadia joins them onstage and places the crown on his head. She kisses him sweetly. He takes the royal scepter and waves it like a magic wand.

"Abra Kadabra confetti." He shouts.

All of a sudden a torrent on confetti descends on the stage and auditorium.

"The post pageant party is rescheduled for tomorrow night. I'm sure everyone here isn't in much of a partying mood." Irina announces.

"That's all for us tonight. Drive home carefully and see you next year." Dixon announces.

**The after party is coming soon**


End file.
